VMAs 2006 (Delayed Reaction).

I don't have cable. So I am going to blog as I watch the VMAs online. Ooh. MTV Overdrive has been revamped. The color is nice. Apparently, Mac users can watch it now?

Justin Timberlake's performance was good. I still hate "SexyBack" and think it's dull, grating and pointless. That first song was easier to swallow. I think the greatest thing about this performance was that he answered the question "So you think you can dance?" with a resounding "FUCK YEAH!"

Jack Black's intro: not as funny as Conan O'Brien's Emmy Awards monologue, which was hilarious.

Last night, thousands of teens wondered what that Lou Reed dude was doing with Jack White's new band. I'm wondering the same thing.

Li'l Kim... looked sorta cute.

Oh my god! Kelis looked cute too!!

"My Humps" won? Oh my god. Daddy Yankee had the saddest look on his face. Like he was thinking, "¡Los gringos no me quieren!" Papi, I feel you. I mean, your song was mad annoying, but it wasn't as bad as the Black Eyed Peas' song.

Shit, whoever created that set needs to get shot. Or at least get fired.

UMMM SHAKIRA ILU. Except I found the whole Indian dancing girl weird. I guess Gwen's Harajuku possee was too expensive to rent out. I saw a picture of Shakira with Fall Out Boy on the red carpet and her dress was really nice! She looked all pretty and glowing, so in contrast her outfit here on stage was just tacky. But still, her voice sounded so bad and I just want to say thanks for actually singing instead of using a backing track. I truly appreciate that. I wish this song wasn't so wrong, cos then it would feel so right.

I don't think LL Cool J is capable of aging. It's frightening.

The Raconteurs suck.

Oh my god! MY FAITH IN OK GO HAS TOTALLY BEEN RESTORED!! If only their songs were good. I still like their first album a lot though.

I don't think Beyoncé was singing live. That dance bit was so dumb. Bitch needs some lessons from Timberlake. She's got great thighs, though, so she's cool in my book.

Jared Leto is a fucking joke. That whole speech was ridiculously dumb. Amy Lee was just looking at him like, "You're a douchebag." I think he's a douchebag too, because I've been saying his last name wrong and it's all his fault. You see, he's an artist now, so he makes everything difficult. He makes shitty music and says his name is leh-to instead of lee-to. UGH.

I'd like to thank the VMAs for finally telling me what that fucking annoying ass song I hate is by: Fort fucking Minor. Oh my god, that song is so painfully bad. I hate it so much. Okay, the end. Wait, no. All the "Ringtone of the Year" nominees were ridiculous, even if none of them were fucking Crazy Frog. I hate the fact that people have ringtones on their phones. I already hate phones and the fact that people have noisy, shitty ringtones makes things even worse.

I found it very weird that Fall Out Boy and Panic! were dressed like in B-movie version of Sherlock Holmes. I can't believe people are saying that P!ATD had a bad performance. NO SHIT. THEY'RE A BAD BAND. Just because you like them doesn't mean you should disregard how mediocre they are. I thought they sounded exactly as I expected them to sound live.

I wish Abigail Breslin was an anti-Dakota Fanning but I've heard Abigail speak and she's one of those precocious brats who's always telling people, "You should talk to my agent blah blah" to the point you wanna kick 'em in the face. But I think she's totally cute and I thought it was so sweet when she didn't know how to pronounce "Avenged Sevenfold". She also looked a bit scared that all those dudes came up on stage. Aw.

I'm glad I don't watch Overload that often (usually it's just "You Heard it First" features), because the ads drove me crazy. I wish they had more advertisers, because it's like the same five or six commercials and I find it irritating that they repeat so often.

Oh. My. God. Lou Reed was more full of shit than Jared Leto. I still love him, though, because when he was younger he was hospitalized and given EST for his homosexual tendencies. Oh, and he was in this little band called the Velvet Underground, but that's so beside the point.

Shit, I can't believe "Wake Me Up When September Ends" didn't win. C'mon, y'all! That video almost changed my life! When I first watched it I laughed! I cried! That is, I cried from laughing so hard. "I DID IT FOR US!! I DID IT FOR US!!!" The only thing that's made me laugh harder is that part in "Dance, Dance" where the girl is telling Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III that he looks handsome. PFFFT YEAH OKAY.

WTF, I kept thinking that "Iovine" was pronounced eye-oh-vine, not eye-oh-vin. Thanks for making my life difficult, y'all.

Al Gore got fat! If he was a rock star I'd totally wanna hit that! Except I'm not really into violence, so I wouldn't really hit him. It was a manner of speech...

Ummm is Brendon Uri(n)e the worst rock star ever? First of all he gets hit by one water bottle and he passes out, and then at the VMAs he gets the mic snatched right out of his hand by some loser who for some reason wanted a show on MTV. WTF? Of course I understand Brendon didn't wanna fight back for it. White Mormon Boy Wearing Make-Up vs. Irate Black Dude? Brendon had no chance. I can't believe J. Lo didn't smack the shit out of that dude. Ugh.

ALSO! I'd never heard Rosevest's speaking voiced so I LOL'ed quite hard when I found out it was deeper than expected.