Warped Tour '06.

I can tell I'm going to write a lot, and I never take pictures, so you've been warned. I don't want any "tl;dr" comments on this post.

Yesterday was the Warped Tour. I was a bit hesitant about this trip because the night before I had this crappy dream and Trohman was totally in it and I was being a drama queen and he looked at me like, "You are so lame". I hate how I have dreams where people I like totally hate me. Anyway...

Since it wasn't at Randall's, we had to go to Long fucking Island, but amazingly enough, Boogie-Down Nicole planned it out perfectly (pre-gaming and all, lol!) and we had the easiest time getting around. There were a lot of kids getting on the train with us, and by the time the bus arrived we pushed our way on. We started queuing up once we got there but at a certain point we all realized that the gates could go fuck themselves and we didn't need to line up all nice and pretty. They hardly checked our bags so I regretted guzzling all that water + soda before we got in. At least I'd gone to the bathroom earlier so I didn't have to use the portapotties. Anything to avoid that stuff, y'know?

The first band we went to see was The Academy Is... I was already wary of the many fangirls (and surprisingly, fanboys!), but then this girl right near me started moaning about how she didn't feel so good because of the heat, and then some dude was like "Drink some water" but she was all like, "Nah, I'd rather not", and she wouldn't even get out of the huge crowd. But eventually she relented and had some water, only to throw up seconds later. Like right in the middle of all these peoples. It must have been one of her first shows ever. Well, at first I tried to be polite about it and ignore the barf. After all, we've all had embarrassing vomit experiences, right? But she didn't seem to get it and want to get out, and I figured she'd throw up some more, and the barf started stinkin' up ridiculously bad and since the ground wasn't completely level, it sort of started puddlin' up in my general direction. There was some brief soul-searchin' involved--"Is William Beckett's delectable, skinny ass worth it?"--before I decided to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

I sat against the gate right near the stage, so I heard most of it. I was shocked it wasn't too bad. At times I would crane my neck and try to get a glimpse of the stage. I could see Beckett at times. He's... quite skinny. Seemed to be getting a good reaction from the crowd, and even crooned a bit of "Crazy". Obvz, it didn't sound as amazing as Mr. Cee-Lo Green, but it was the only thing I did recognize from their set, so I'm not complaining. It was really interesting, they were one of the first bands playing and not as many people were in the parking lot by that point, so as the set went on, a shitload of people gravitated toward the stage. A girl sitting near me wore a "Feed Beckett Foundation". I think she went into the crowd afterwards.

The report from Boogie-Down and Rachel was that the crowd was crazy for the band and that they almost got killed. I think it was a bit of a shock for them to witness a crowd that was actually reacting to the band playing on stage. Spoiled little hipster girls, haha.

After The Academy Is... we reunited and ran over to see The Sounds. It was really fun! Maja had this retarded haircut and their keyboardist had massive pirate earrings that made me lol. They played "Seven Days a Week" but they didn't play "Mine For Life", which I think is my favorite Sounds song. It was mostly the new stuff, which makes sense. There was this really enthusiastic girl who literally jumped with joy when Maja announced the band would be doing a signing. I danced to the music. It was fun.

We went over to see Hellogoodbye but we got distracted when we decided to go track down The Academy Is... for a signing. It was mostly for Rachel and Boogie-Down Nicole so that they could LOL about Beckett n00dz and shit like that. I dunno. When they start talking about TAI I sort of zone out. I didn't know there was a TAI booth so I thought the signing was at the Fueled by Ramen booth but it ended up being at the fucking AP booth. The problem is that we're morons and we couldn't figure out where it was and we gave up and caught the last two minutes of Hellogoodbye. As soon as I caught a glimpse of the stage I regretted that we left in the first place. They seemed so cute and cuddly and funny and they were all wearing these crazy costumes. I appreciated the effort, you know? And the music wasn't bad at all!

After that we had a good while to wait before Thursday came on, so we just sat around people-watching and hydrating ourselves under the merciless sun. Eventually we parked our derrieres against the gate with a view to the Main Stage allll the way across where Thursday were gonna play. Unfortunately, Motion City Soundtrack were playing, and they weren't all that. Even worse, we thought they were ending their set, but they kept playing on and on and we're like, "C'mon, let Tone Geoff play already!!"

We spent a few hours during the day sort of just sitting and trying to bear the fucking heat. It sucked pretty bad. That middle part of the day was rough, but once we got through it things got a lot better.

Eventually, Thursday did get on the stage but we really had no energy to get up, so we watched from the gate. I think I would have liked them more if they hadn't played in the daytime. The stage was far away, but I detected quite a bit of flailing arms courtesy of (I assume) dear Geoff. The banter was, for the most part, awesome; I think it was the best I heard all day. I think he actually told people to go home and download their new album, and he also told this story about being on a plane and how the plane was going down and I really can't remember how the story ended, cos I could only think of that Bright Eyes song with the creepy intro.

The only thing that really annoyed me was that Geoff told all the kiddies that they were all "alternative" and fuck commercial radio and blah blah. Hello? That was not the right audience to hear this shit. These were the kids who paid $45 on their tickets, about $20 on food for the day, plus an average of like $50 worth of purchases on merch. And the merch probably wasn't CDs because all these kids probably have iPods and have already downloaded the music from all the bands at Warped. My point is, these are the kids who think that you can buy your way into being "different", but there's just as many kids who sincerely love this kind of music and couldn't make it out to see these bands because they couldn't afford the transportation and the ticket and the meal money. I don't know if his spiel was (a) because he is unaware, (b) because he is in denial, or (c) because he's a fucking dumbass. I was like, "Dude, don't encourage these kids, because they don't understand what you're talking about."

ANYWAY. The set was still pretty good. It's not necessarily my kind of music but I think if I'd been a bit closer to the stage and gotten wrapped up in all the mob mentality, I would have been perfectly content. After that we checked out Saves the Day, who were a bit of fresh air. There were so many bands with more of a metal-punk feel and lots of screamy vocals, so hearing all this straight up pop-punk stuff was a sugar rush for me. Except holy shit, Chris Conley's voice is really annoying, yeah? Wow, and we were pretty far from the stage, but Chris's hair was flaaaaamin' pink.

We left STD to catch Joan Jett, who had already started her set! Goddamn! Whatever, we caught most of it anyway. Musically speaking, I think the Blackhearts were the best. I guess it helps that Joan Jett has been playing the guitar since most of us were born. I found it odd to have her sing "Cherry Bomb". And I didn't like her newer material which was all "Fuck Bush". It's just that I've never cared for political lyrics (or any lyrics for that matter!). It was amazing to see all the older people show up for her set.

Oh, and there was this hysterical dude wearing a Spider-Man costume who crowdsurfed twice during her set. Even the security people thought it was hilarious. I think the greatest thing about the Spider-Man dude was that there was this dad in the crowd holding his kid up, and the kid was pretty stoked to meet Spider-Man! He's never been one of my favorite superheroes, but I have to admit that he was awesome yesterday. Hahaha.

She played "I Love Rock 'n' Roll". It was so dumb and so cool to see everyone spouting the lyrics right back at her, exactly like in the video!!!

Following her set we watched Gym Class Heroes. They were okay. I don't know, I think the rapper dude is really cute but the songs themselves seemed same-y. Beckett came on for a song. Also, the band totally teased everyone by playing the riff for "Dance, Dance". People got really excited about that! Including me! I wish they'd played the song. It would have been ASSUMXCORE! I liked the MySpace song, and the one where Fatrick sings was cool too.

There was this girl watching the Gym Class Heroes set whose shirt said, "SUGAR, we're deffinately going down!" I was horrified and amused to pieces.

In the stage right next to Gym Class Heroes, Saves the Day were scheduled to play again, but this was for an acoustic set. I'm so glad the stages were side-by-side, cos by that point I was tired of schlepping my ass from one corner of the parking lot to the other. Call me lazy, I don't care. The acoustic set was AMAZING. They were seriously really good, the choice of song was excellent. My favorite set of the day. Actually, I was just like wishin' and hopin' that they would play "You Vandal", and they played it first, so when it finished I turned to Boogie-Down Nicole and Rachel and said, "That's all I wanted to hear, we can vamoose from here now", but Nicole was like, "It's cool, let's stay", and I'm so glad because they did "Freakish" and I hadn't heard that song in years! It was the only time all day when I happily sang along.

Saves the Day were almost all that Warped is about: whining, angst about growing up, pure pop disguised as "emo punk". It was an absolute delight.

The Pink Spiders were the last band we checked out. We didn't stay too long, only long enough to verify that they are indeed very hot. To be more specific, as soon as they came out, I just didn't give a shit what their music sounded like (I recall it being pop-punk), I just wanted to stare at them. Sizzle, sizzle!

We were pretty pooped so we skipped out on the rest of their set, and out of the hellhole that is Long Island. But I'm telling you, the trip was almost worth it! Especially the later half of the day! I really wanna go again next year... but only if it's at Randall's and/or some big bands play. I'm looking at you, Brand New!

Some more random things about Warped:

(1) I felt really old! And pervy for checking out the little 13-year-old skater boys! Oh my god, there was the cutest boy with a Tsunami Bomb shirt on! I was like ILU!!
(2) Most indie rock t-shirt sighting: The Fall.
(3) I saw three trash bins all day, not counting a makeshift one that someone made just from an empty cardboard box. It was ridiculous. I did see two people from the recycling crew who were carrying around bags with plastic bottles and stuff, but most of the trash just went on the floor. It was an absolute pigsty by the end of the day.
(4) I considered buying a Gorilla Biscuits album from these people, who I'm only plugging for because they were kind enough to sell us water for $2 instead of $4. I decided against buying the album, but now I'm bummed because I listened to them today and they're pretty good. The good thing about it is that I almost bought the "bad" album instead of the "classic" album, so maybe it was for the best.
(5) There were a lot of kids wearing Underoath shirts and I felt bad for them.
(6) The Volcom booth had a sign that said "AFI AREN'T EVEN AT WARP [sic] TODAY! And if they weren't they wouldn't be at the Volcom table". LOL!
(7) We did find the AP booth eventually. It was about 3 or 4 hours too late for the TAI signing. They didn't even have free copies of their mag! Pout. But they did have the official program, which oddly enough, is just as shitty as AP!
(8) People, particularly the scantily-clad ones, have no sense of personal space. You fuckers need to stop bumping into every fucking person near you when there's plenty of walking room around. I don't care to touch your sweaty bodies and your kind can just choke on a cock. KTHXDIE.