Jaula de Oro.

My dad asked me to make him a mix cd this morning, and when he came home, I was still working on it. He asked me why I was taking so long, shouldn't I be able to do this within an hour? Yes, but I don't. I sort of can't, either. I felt really shitty about it, and then my dad's like, "Listen, if you don't want to do it, just tell me, don't be all like, 'I'm working on it.'" Fuck that. That hurt my feelings. I do want to make this mix, it's just that listening to my first draft has been excruciating and I feel that he's just gonna chuck the thing about of the boombox after listening to one track. He probably will.

I was pretty bored today. I watched Dr. Phil yell at this overbearing alcoholic heavily accented old woman. I also rearranged my CDs (the ones that I'm not entirely ashamed of) in alphabetical album title. It was pretty interesting.

I've also been getting into problems with my compulsiveness. Every time I think about my grades, my train of thought goes like this: "Who gives a shit about grades," "I wonder when they'll be posted online," "Well, it doesn't matter, I'd rather not find out," "Oh, but I have nothing to do, why don't I check just now." So even though I don't really want to know which letter I got, I'm constantly checking whether I've received any grades yet. Yes, I just checked again. It's really just something for me to do.

I wish Art Brut tickets would sell out so I would have one less thing to worry about. That way, it would be like, "Hey, it's sold out, didn't get my ticket, guess I can't go!" I don't know if I should go to the !!! either. Maybe I should just stay put and behave and save my money to go to England, which probably won't happen either. I do want to see the Futureheads, though.

Maybe I shouldn't go to that one either. It's all a burden, a big burden. I don't want to be a bad kid you know?

I did watch that Theremin movie, though, and it was pretty wonderful! The tape was a bit busted and it gave it that homey, crap-from-the-library-sucks feel to it. Anyway, I have to say, for a mad scientist who used to work for the KGB, Leon Theremin was sorta hot! And he was so adorable as an old man. The movie was pretty funny, just because the whole story sounded so ridiculous. I have to say, however, Brian Wilson stole the show. Man is fucking nuts, that's all. He just went babbling on and on about the theremin and how "Good Vibrations" owns.

I've ordered so much crap from the library, it's exciting.

In Japan, there's sort of an epidemic with younger men where they're not willing to come out of their rooms for anything other than food and the bathroom. They'll do stupid shit like just play videogames or read and just pass the time, not being functional members of society. They don't learn social or work skills, and with the more time that passes with them inside (months, years, who knows), the less likely it is they'll come out and return to society. This lifestyle is becoming more and more attractive to me. No friends. It's fun to hang out with my friends for a few hours, but the closer the time gets to going home, the more depressed I get. "I don't wanna spoil the party so I'll go..." I might as well stay inside forever and not disappoint myself with all these distractions. No point in having friends because you'll just end up heartbroken.